Tag Archives: Toronto

Maybe it’s just me….

I was in my first ‘relationship’ when I was eighteen years old. It was a late summer romance that lasted until about the following spring. He was a handsome, nice, hard-working guy who was close with his parents and did his best to balance full-time school work and a part-time job. During my holiday visit of him and his family, I vividly recall one interaction. We were out the night prior and got up late. His mom was home and we were discussing breakfast. I remember one minute he was looking at me like I was sunshine, smiling at me and then, just before he got up to grab something from the coffee table, he turned to his mom and said these seven life-changing words: “Show her how I like my eggs.” I am not sure what prompted him to say this and if he felt that in some weird way I would find it endearing, but something felt ‘off’ about that to my eighteen-year-old Self, who did not have the language to articulate or even understand how she truly felt. Perhaps then, this blog post was born, when I was eighteen years old.


A single woman living alone in a big metropolitan city, with a stable job, hobbies and close friends, in today’s day and age, is, frankly, common. It has not always been this way, as noted in the workforce composition/proportion of men vs women, in the last century. Perhaps it is somewhat of a recent trend, of say the last three or four decades, that women have gained the courage to be even more independent from their ‘home base’ where they were raised.

Of course, not every woman who completes school and/or secures a job which provides her financial independence, acts on it by leaving her parental home, solo. Be it for cultural reasons or to save money so that she can become a homeowner on her own, some independent women stay home and I pass no judgement on them. I, however, live alone in an apartment with a view of the lake, that is walking distance to work. Okay, my entire life is within a 15 minute walking radius. I’ve worked really hard over the years to make my world an oyster, and I am extremely grateful for it.

Perhaps due to my strong independence gains, I’ve become less tolerant for interactions with others, and notably men, which simply do not nurture MY personal growth, but often leave me feeling….kinda motherly. I’ll admit, I have that motherly, nurturing thing inside my Self that comes out naturally, whether I am aware of it or not. I’d like to think I’ve become more aware and mindful of it, but it’s hard to be someone you’re not. And I like me. Unfortunately, I think that attribute of mine has played a role in the kinds of men I’ve attracted over the years. I’m not saying ALL of them, but there have been a few interactions I’ve looked back on which somehow illicit a feeling of nauseating panic and…a shudder that seems to always be paired with an involuntary ‘Ugh!’. Some were good people, but it was my allowing of some of the interactions which took place, the length of time I stayed in IT, how much precious energy I expended on these men, which lead to these internal reactions of my Self. I’m going to share a few of these stories because, well, there are lessons in them for every man and woman. And also, I am not the same woman who went through those experiences so my shame has turned into forgiveness, wisdom and love for my Self. You may relate to some of these….be it as the guy or the girl.



Mott Haven, Bronx. August 1979. From The Faces in the Rubble, by David Gonzalez.

Mott Haven, Bronx. August 1979.
From The Faces in the Rubble, by David Gonzalez.
Confession: I posted this photograph because it represents what I’d love to experience: the two of us (the man I’ve yet to meet who will choose to be a part of US) dancing together, to a common beat…it’s one of my dreams. 😉



I’ll start with a choreographer who I met through a social network. He was charming, funny, sexy as hell, cool. We spent hours talking about life and seemed to have a lot in common in terms of our values and views of relationships. He had done a lot in his life already, as had I. He intrigued me. It was a long distance connection, and although based on previous personal experience I did not believe in long distance romance, I really liked this guy. He was exciting to me. He took an interest in me. He even flew countries on short notice to spend a few days with me, despite the fact that we had not spoken in almost a year at that point (back story: I had created a distance between us about six months into IT because of, let’s call it, a woman’s intuition). It felt like something too good to be true but I convinced my Self that this must be love. The time we spent together was magical and beautiful, but it felt to me that there existed a lack of something in his Self which he battled silently most of the time. And I found his silence to be loud and suspicious. A few months later, during our following, and ironically, last encounter, he acted out one of my deal breakers and made me end IT, for good. So at this point, this interaction had lasted over eighteen months and although I had learned so much from IT, I was exhausted. I had gone out of my way to welcome him with a home cooked meal anytime he made time to visit me. I allowed him to use my credit card to book his flight to come see me. I tried to please him and make him laugh because I wanted to see him happy. But he wasn’t. From the last time I had seen him, until he had paid me back for that flight, more than a few months had passed. And despite his emotional distance and unavailability, I wasn’t completely over this man at that point. It wasn’t that I felt he was the right guy for me – I had convinced my Self that he was. When I was finally over him, and this took a long while, I randomly came across a post on another social network (you never know who’s going to ‘like’ what, thereby showing up on your feed), of him and his girlfriend, dated around the same time he had flown out to see me. Suddenly, it all made sense. His distance. His moods. His unavailability. And I realized, I did not love this man. I just loved the excitement, I thought, he brought to my life.


I’ll skip to the lawyer, because this IT was short-lived. We met on the train platform on a hot summer day. Tall, dark hair, and handsome, he threw me some cheesy line I found cute. I found his mannerism boyish yet mature at the same time. He seemed like the no-nonsense type, so I gave him my number. And I was right – he contacted me later that same day. We met and had a great date on yet another hot, sticky, summer day. Over the course of his courtship, we went to the movies, the beach, went on excursions, he wrote me poems, discussed the future, how we’d deal with our cultural differences, our individual family relationships…it seemed mature. The first red flag was his initial suggestion he cook dinner for me at my place on our second date and have a sleepover. I wasn’t feeling his self-invite and simply told him that it’s too soon for me and I will inform him when I feel comfortable with having him enter my home. Had he not brought it up again, I may have been able to work through it. But the third time he asked, over our sushi dinner date, if he can come over ‘just to sleep next to me while cuddling and nothing else’, I snapped. I told him that it’s not his place to keep inviting himself over, but for me to extend that invitation should I so choose. (Of course each time he had done so, a seed of doubt that was initially planted by his first self-invitation, grew.) I did not expect nor anticipate his actual reaction, but it had ended THAT. This intelligent lawyer who took on human rights cases pro bono and was very convincing of his belief in gender equality, sent me a slew of emotionally charged messages in one of which he stated that my ‘rejection’ of his self-invitation to MY home, made him ‘feel emasculated’. In that one sentence, he ended IT…although he didn’t see it that way. I clarified it for him politely initially, and ultimately silently.


Now, the lawyer wasn’t the only one who had extended a self-invitation to my home, but I found his reaction most honest. There was this one guy who I went out with on less than a handful of platonic ‘dates’, who, on top of extending a self-invitation to my home, that seems to always come with dinner (which, in retrospect, I think I would have financed in his case), also thought that it would be fair if he did his laundry while at my place. And when I pointed out that he was trying to take advantage of me, decided that it was ok for him to continue IT without an apology or an acknowledgement that he overstepped his boundary with me. It took a long while for him to stop sending me messages despite my lack of response. At one point, I was concerned that this one may turn out to be a stalker, but I was fortunate he didn’t. I think….


There was also the artist, who I felt was a soul mate. We had this incredible connection. He made time for me. We did things together. He professed his love to me. He taught me a lot. We had deep conversations about life and shared secretes with one another that we hadn’t told a soul prior. We discussed the future. He told his mother about me and brought me around his child, whom I loved. It wasn’t until I felt emotionally invested in IT, that I found out he had a substance abuse problem. I had cooked for him, and paid for most outing expenses, because that’s what you do when you care for someone, right?? Besides, he was pretty much a single parent, as he had his kid for most of the week, so I thought that was right… Except it rarely made sense. Looking back on it now, I realize that he was someone who was so lost in his self-denied substance abuse, that I almost lost my Self in IT. And in all the ways it seemed like L-O-V-E, at the core of IT was a slew of justifications for self-destructive behaviour that had hurt me. To this day, I’m not sure he fully understood that but I did not stick around to make sure he got it. (When someone compares their chosen substance of abusive consumption to what coffee does for other people, it raises a huge red flag. And, despite your repeatedly expressed concern that it sounds like a serious problem they need to deal with, they not only continue their use more heavily but attempt to feed you words to try to convince you otherwise, you stop banging your head against that wall. It only hurts you.)


The last one I’ll mention is the student who was actually really sweet. And he came into my life at a time when I was finally ready to end my almost five-year ‘singlehood’  stretch. When I met him, he had a job, ambition, he was going to school, and had interesting perspectives. He was there whenever I needed him and he did his best to play the role of a mature man despite our age gap (I was older). As time went on, he quit his job and started hanging out at my place a lot. (Towards the end of it, even when I was not home.) Initially, I understood it as his attempt to spend time with me, but he didn’t exactly contribute to my home financially or domestically, and I came to resent it. Our parting was amicable but I was a little surprised when he called me a few months later, confused about why I had ended it. While we were in IT, I was too frustrated and annoyed with the situation to clearly express my feelings but when he had called me I was able to articulate my stance clearly: he made me feel like I was his mother. In fact I remember this one argument we had towards the end of IT, when I was at my limit of tolerance for his lack of ambition and motivation, where he wanted to add his boxer shorts to my laundry load and I refused it. It made me feel like I was in IT with a child instead of an adult and it completely turned me off. I have zero romantic inclinations towards children….which is how I ended up feeling towards the end of IT with him, towards him. And that was THAT.


I take full responsibility for the decisions I had made during those interactions, for my reactions and choices of words (or lack thereof). I also took many lessons with me from each of those situations (which, by-the-way, are NOT in chronological order), and have applied those lessons to interactions with men I connected with thereafter. I find many of those situations humorous now. I mean how else do you look back at someone you just met extending a self-invitation to your place for a sleep over AND to do their laundry during their ‘visit’??

You’re probably wondering why I’m even bothering sharing these stories on such a public platform, right? I see a lot of my old self in so many single, independent folks. And it’s not that they’re bad or interacting with bad people, it’s just that they’ve not fully understood or come to grips with THEIR self-worth. A person who understands and has complete knowledge of what they bring-to-the-table in any type of relationship – be it professional, friendship, platonic or non-platonic interaction – has developed an ability to not only listen to their intuition, but honour it and stand in his/her own integrity.

While recalling aforementioned stories, I remember my old Self; a generous young woman with a big heart, lacking a sense of her Self-Worth, with an underdeveloped emotional maturity, and a shortage of courage to uphold her Self-Love. I’ve not changed my Self, my integrity, honesty, transparency of who I am and what I stand for, but I have grown up. Everything I identified as something I lacked (such as emotional maturity) which I also want in a partner, I worked on developing in my Self. Sure, it took time and without a doubt there is always room for growth and improvement, but this has enabled me to make decisions with respect to my interactions with other people, much easier. It has also allowed me to articulate how I truly feel with not just a lack of fear, but mature confidence. And I’m feeling good (Nina Simone voice). 😀

I’d like to honour my eighteen-year-old Self with these important words:

I like MY eggs mostly two ways – sunny-side up or soft-boiled. 😉




I’ve been practicing Bikram hot yoga (at Bikram Hot Yoga Center ) since September 2009. Not consistently or as frequently as I’d have liked to, but nevertheless, I feel that it has been challenging, engaging and beneficial enough to my body, spirit and overall well-being, that I’ve attended the 90-minute classes (held in a  40 degree Celsius room of about 40 percent humidity), for almost five years. And it’s no small feat to captivate my interest for that long – I LOVE being challenged and this yoga practice is very challenging.


I receive the BYC email newsletter and in the most recent one, I saw that two intermediate classes with music were added to the schedule. With music, captivated me. In fact, when I went to practice a few days ago, I asked a teacher if I’d be eligible to take it, and when he said yes, I immediately made the commitment to my Self, and to him, to attend.


Today, was the very first class offered at an intermediate level with music at BYC. Was I excited? Yes. Was I nervous? Yes. Was I scared? Absolutely! Even after all those Bikram yoga classes I’ve attended, I still did not feel as if I could always get into the deepest expressions of some of the postures nor have I ever done a head stand. But I stuck to with music and that helped me calm my nerves down…a little bit.


Unlike regular Bikram yoga classes, this one did not have verbal instruction, but we all were to move in unison with our instructor. It was simply incredible to practice yoga in synergy and with music which included Hindu chants, prayers and songs of Shri, Krishna Das, as well as the music of the band Stars, Leonard Cohen, Eva Cassidy and Dan Gibson! The absence of verbal instruction and correction from the teacher made me feel more accountable to my own Self awareness – body, posture and position, as well as mind/thought and feeling. The few new postures which are a part of this class were challenging but surprisingly enough, I was able to do most of them…except for the head stand. I mean I did try to set it up, and even though it was something I’ve always wanted to be able to do, it was just too scary for me to do it on my own, for the first time, in this class.

The group of us who attended the class, were told at the very beginning to bring our mats in towards our instructor, as we were meant to be much closer together than in a regular class. Somehow my yoga mat ended up directly in front of the EXIT sign and door. After the standing series, I was faced with that EXIT sign every time I laid down for the Shavasana. I started thinking about the word itself. EXIT goes with escape, with letting go, with some form of freedom. And I realized that I did not allow my Self to EXIT my own thoughts which made me apprehensive about doing or attempting something new, something different, something scary. Although there were other things in my life this applied to, in this case, that was a head stand. Well, remember how I told you that I love challenges? I asked for some help and this is what happened:

I did it!

I did it! (Source BYC Instagram page)

I realize how powerful our thoughts are – they can help us face our fears or nurture them. I chose to literally EXIT the realm of CAN’T, with music, and some help. Like the mural at the BYC studio states: “Be afraid not of growing slowly, Be only afraid of standing still.”



The Dwayne Morgan Experience…

Monday, August 15th, 2011.

I woke up feeling great! My day started with a Green Goodness smoothie and the gym. After a great workout I was off to work! I had a good day at work actually although I was feeling a little tired towards the end of it. It was raining some that day but when I got home and looked out of my window, I saw an actual, beautiful rainbow in the clouds!

arainbowintheclouds ♥

After dinner, I started getting ready to head out to an evening of poetry with Dwayne Morgan. I had known about the event for a few weeks and although I had the intention of getting an advance ticket ($5 cheaper than at the door fee), I had to play it by ear as I was on-call and my being able to go was solely dependent on my pager not going off. Although I was tired, I decided to take a chance and go – I had wanted to attend a spoken word event for a while.

I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t have to wait for the streetcar like I usually do! It was especially great as it had started to rain. The connecting bus was waiting as I got off the streetcar – I got to Lula Lounge in no time really!

As I walked in, I was greeted with smiles. I greeted the ‘door woman’ with a hello and she asked if I had an advanced ticket. I said no and she said “Well I have one here for you. Someone was not able to attend so here you go!”. I paid her, thanked her and thought how amazing it was that that happened! A sign of that which was meant to be maybe?

A waitress asked me where I would like to sit and I explained to her that I was riding solo tonight (didn’t tell her how often I do that) and that it didn’t matter to me…I got a table in the front, next to the booth where Kim Davis, T. Ana Cole and Dwayne Morgan’s backup singers sat. 🙂

I ordered a green tea and sat there thinking, how happy I was to be there. Sitting at the table to my left was a man and a woman who could have been on a date or just old friends but I couldn’t help overhearing them discuss different concerts which took place in Toronto that they missed. When they mentioned Sade and Janet Jackson, I almost told them about my blog on both but decided against it – they were having a private conversation and I wasn’t there to promote my own work but enjoy someone else’s.

Miss T. Ana Cole 15/08/2011

T. Ana Cole started the show festivities with her performance. I had not heard of her before, but I sure won’t forget her name now! What a beautiful woman with a lovely voice! She ended her set with a song called “Rainbow”!  (See link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbcDfzgKEUc  )

Kim Davis opening for Mr Brian McKnight 13/02/2011 in Toronto

Next was Kim Davis who I’ve had the pleasure of hearing live when she opened for Brian Macknight in Toronto. She took a seat and with the backing of keys, blessed those of us in attendance with her powerful and incredible voice. She was glowing as she gushed “I’m getting married in a few weeks!” prior to singing Alicia Keys cover “No One”. (See links:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwaOh6NERS0  &  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkaO6-5aDOc )

Mr Morgan performing at his 18th Anniversary show 15/08/2011

Mr Morgan took the stage after his band and back-up singers were in place. Wearing some kick-a** red kicks, he recited poems which made the crowd laugh, think, remember, feel and smile. It was such an enjoyable experience for me – I felt uplifted and somehow “in my element”. It truly was a great show and a wonderful evening. I encourage everyone to support your local Toronto talent for this city sure has a lot! (See links: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QTRDOfVfNo  &  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avwTCK4X62M )

The show ended and I made my way to the exit, stopping only to shake hands with Mr Morgan and thank him. After taking a picture together, I bid him good-night and went out in search of a taxi. Of course, since luck was on my side that evening, I hired one within a few minutes. The taxi driver must have thought I was either high or drunk as I wore a huge smile on my face during the entire drive.

I went to sleep that night thinking how beautiful the moon looked outside of my bedroom window as the moonlight kissed my face, feeling nothing but joy in my heart.


The following day I awoke feeling happy and uplifted and those feelings held strong throughout my entire day. Lying in my bed that night, not being able to get to sleep right away got me thinking about this “high” that I was feeling. I thought, just like everything else, this too shall pass so I better enjoy each moment and my now.

I reached for my phone and looked at the date – it read “Tues, Aug 16” and then it hit me – yesterday, Monday August 15th, was my second “Me, Myself & I” anniversary!

It has been two years since I’ve chosen to become, and have been, a single woman. Two years since I moved out on my own. Two years since I started learning myself and began my soul-searching journey. Two years of being happy and getting back to T. Two years of learning how to love myself again. In the last two years I’ve traveled on this personal journey which included “Me, Myself & I”, and not even realizing it, I celebrated and marked it with an evening of soulfood – MY soulfood – realness, truth, self-love, art and music.

I’m so grateful for my life and everyone who has walked through, left or stayed in it.

Peace and love to all of you.


The Janet Jackson Experience….

Janet Jackson on stage at The Sony Centre in Toronto, March 2011

March 2011

I had decided I would attend the Janet Jackson concert when I learned that she was going to perform in Toronto. I bought a ticket for the Sunday performance (there were two dates booked here) of her intimate, 39-(I think)-city tour and she was only performing her biggest hits i.e. THROWBACKS! I have a great appreciation and love for ‘old’-skul music so, although I was not close to the stage, I was VERY excited.

After figuring out how to get to the correct section of the auditorium, I did not pay too much attention to people around me, as I had reached my seat just as the opening act (Mindless Behaviour) was performing. The time between the opening act and before Ms Jackson graced the stage I spent figuring out how my camera works (I’m not the most camera savvy person).

As soon as Ms Jackson stepped on stage, even though I was very far from it, I felt her beautiful energy transcend across the entire auditorium. It was absolutely incredible. I sang along with the crowd and sincerely had a GREAT TIME.

Perhaps this is a good place to mention that I did attend the show alone because no one who I had asked, wanted to go. I fully encourage solo outings – they ARE fun! Perhaps I’m not the most normal person in the world but then again, who is?! 😉 In any case, I’m encouraging you to consider it. 🙂

The concert ended and I reflected how much I loved the trip down memory lane which Ms Jackson took me on. I am certain that everyone who was there that evening felt the same way too.

As I was putting on my coat and getting ready to leave, I was greeted with an “Excuse me” by a man who was sitting a row or two behind me. He told me that he noticed that I was able to zoom in with my camera and obtain some really good close-up shots and he was wondering if I would share them with him. I said yes and gave him my email address. At first I thought he just wanted better pictures than what he was able to take with his own camera but when I received an email from him a day or two later, he explained that he wanted to use my videos to put together his own video of the concert as a gift to his sister, who was unable to attend. I thought that sounded cool but didn’t really think too much of it.

For me, it was a lot of work sharing the videos as I had to figure out how to upload such large files to YouTube. Remember – I’m not camera savvy so imagine how much I knew about videos! To be honest I thought, “Why am I doing this for someone I don’t even know?” but as I am a woman of her word, I decided to just suck it up and remember that all this new YouTube knowledge I was obtaining just might be useful in the future. (It WAS useful for the Sade concert AND Dr Maya Angelou talk!***) A few days later, I finally had all the videos up for sharing and I sent the links thinking “Whatever he does with this, I hope he does it well.”.

After a few weeks of no communication, I thought that perhaps I wouldn’t get to see his final product. He seemed like a genuinely nice person and I didn’t think my gut instinct was wrong but he was a complete stranger….. I felt that I did my part in sharing and then simply forgot about it.

A week later, I got an email. With a link. Of an almost 30 minute video montage. A well put-together video montage! As I watched it, I thought how lucky I was to have met him! He composed a great momento of the concert not just for his sister but for everyone who was a Janet Jackson fan AND I was a part of that! Very cool, right?! 🙂

Thought I’d pay it forward and share with everyone else. You’ll find the YouTube link below. 🙂


Link to the Janet Jackson concert video montage:      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zotgMjDLqBU&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

***Link to Sade concert blog:        https://arainbowintheclouds.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/amazing-incredible-soulfood/

***Link to Dr Maya Angelou blog:  https://arainbowintheclouds.wordpress.com/2011/05/29/dr-maya-angelou/

Amazing. Incredible. Soulfood.

I would describe my life as interesting. Every day brings something new – a lesson, a memory, a different point of view, a reflection – and I welcome it all with much gratitude. June 28th, 2011 was no exception…

My thoughts upon waking: Tonight is the Sade concert! Sade tours once a decade and her music has helped me through some rough times. AND I love music and I love going to concerts! I bought the tickets last October, before I went to India, for this much anticipated event. I’m going with my friend D. who loves Sade as well, and I’m very excited! I have my outfit together – off-the-shoulder black cocktail dress paired with my Michael Kors heels. I have a busy day ahead of me – go to work, hit the gym, then get ready for the concert! Whoohoo! I am excited although I didn’t sleep very well last night. My neck hurts and I see that I have messages to check on my phone.

I got ready for work, boiled a few eggs and left my house around 7am. I checked the messages on my phone as I walked to the elevator. One was from my aunt who currently resides in Bosnia, informing me that my grandfather had ended his short battle with colon cancer last night. I phoned my youngest aunt while walking to work. We spoke about her, my dad’s and their oldest sister’s departure later that evening for my grandfather’s funeral in Bosnia. We also discussed the importance of living life and not allowing certain things to stress us out. We had a similar discussion last week as one of her friends (whom I also knew) passed away suddenly, while at work, at the age of 50. The conversation ended with us agreeing that we need to live life to the fullest and do what makes us happy. When I got to work I emailed my dad after failing to reach him on the phone.

As the day went on I thought if it was appropriate it was for me to go to a concert of one of my favourite artists knowing that my grandfather passed away the night before. I talked to my friends, I talked to my mom, I even had conversations about it with people on Facebook and Twitter, and it was unanimous – I was to go to the concert and enjoy it.

My friend D. and I met up at the Air Canada Centre, and as her cab took her to the wrong entrance, we ended up walking in after John Legend was already on stage.  Our seats were in section Floor Left, row 13, seats 3 and 4.*** As we were ushered to our seats, sitting directly behind me in row 14 was my friend M! I hadn’t seen her in a VERY long time (her and I worked at a clothing store for some time, years ago but we keep bumping into each other randomly) and it was really lovely being around another person (who I knew!) who has a great energy. (I might not have mentioned but D. is really cool peeps!) We thoroughly enjoyed John Legend’s**** performance and I caught up with both M. and D. before Sade stepped on stage.

As you will see from the videos I took (links posted below), Sade’s concert was absolutely amazing…incredible…pure soulfood. I loved every second. It is so refreshing to experience an artist perform live and instead of a huge stage production (i.e. dancers, crazy  special effects, etc), the use of lighting and simple video projections which complimented the music, enhanced the entire concert experience. It is hard to describe what I mean, but I do think you’ll be able to appreciate this from the videos.

After the show was over, before I even left my seat, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned my head and met the gaze of a man who said: “I came all the way from Nova Scotia to watch the concert and my camera broke. I noticed that you were taking a lot of pictures and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind emailing them to me.” Of course I said yes, and he handed me a piece of paper (he was well prepared!) with his email address written on it. I carefully put it in my clutch and bid him goodnight.

D. and I said goodbye to M and off we went in hunt of a taxi. Our taxi hunt was a challenge (imagine the number of people who just attended a sold-out concert and were also trying to hire one) so we decided to walk a little ways in our search. Five minutes later, a lady approached me and said “Excuse me, but were you sitting in row 13?”. I confirmed and she said: “I was watching the pictures and videos you were taking with your camera and you must share them! Upload them on YouTube or something!”. I told her that I plan on doing just that and I offered to email her the links once I’ve done so. She gave me her card, thanked me and we bid each other good night.

After getting home, I was filled with so many different emotions but sadness wasn’t one of them. Yes my grandfather was gone but I work in healthcare and I know what cancer means – great pain. Although death is never a happy thought, I was not sad as I knew that he was no longer suffering or in pain. People grieve in different ways and mine was a celebration. A celebration of life. In addition to all of that, I was also able to give to complete strangers. I felt incredibly grateful to have life and to be living. And this could be my own way of making myself feel better, but I think that my grandfather would not have been upset in how I celebrated his life…

As I promised to the two strangers who approached me, I’ve uploaded the videos I obtained at the concert and I’ve made a slideshow of some of the pictures as well. You’ll have to excuse my shaky camera work – I did my best! I hope you enjoy my compilation and I hope that you’re living your life.


***The October morning of last year that the Sade concert tickets went on sale, I had to be at the Indian consulate to apply for tourist visa for my then upcoming trip to India, and D. had to be on the road, so neither one of us would be near a computer. Thankfully I have great friends! My friend E. booked the tickets for us online and got up early that Saturday morning to do so! E. is often one of my rainbows in the clouds and I’m thankful for him and his friendship always. 

****I was fortunate enough to have attended John Legend’s concert at Roy Thompson Hall in Toronto in 2008. His live performances are incredible.

Sade in Toronto, Parts 1, 2 &3




Slideshow of the pictures taken at the concert – unfortunately some of the picture quality was lost in compiling the video.


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