Tag Archives: Someone Like You

A Song Broken Down…

Any form of art we create, has its own life, which is carried by those who receive it with any of their senses. Its life lies in connection with a memory, feelings, a recognition of, and a relation to past experience(s) of the person who is engaging with it, be it via visual or auditory (or taste etc) stimulation. We are human beings. What makes us truly human, in my opinion, is our ability to FEEL. Emotions, feelings, are part of our human experience.

Photo ©T.Nikic, 2012
Photo ©T.Nikic, 2012

A very important side note: Our souls don’t ‘feel’. Our souls are a distinct energy which allows us to develop a spiritual awareness during our human experience. We are able to ‘recognize’ souls we’ve met in a previous life or those souls we are inherently connected to (i.e. soul mates). But our souls, even at the moment of recognition of another, do not have the experience of FEELING. However, our humanity does. Our souls simply experience an elevation of the vibrational frequency of their energy at this time. That’s something we as humans can FEEL as part of our human experience, but our souls just have an energy ex/change. That is all.

Why am I talking about art, souls and the ability to feel as part of our human experience?? Because of a song I just stumbled upon. Yes, it’s that deep. Why am I going to the extreme of writing a blog post about it? Because it matters and because I recognize our human tendencies of getting caught up in emotions which can subsequently lead to an emotional roller coaster ride. Remember Adele’s Someone Like You? Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You? Or even bits of Rihanna’s Stay ft. Mikky Ekko? If experienced in a misinterpretation, rather in a state of being that is in an uncentered emotional turmoil, those songs could lead to a prolonging of (or the creation of) an attachment to a feeling which is fleeting, as all feelings are. ALL FEELINGS ARE FLEETING. This song, to me, is a more mature, aware, grownup, male version. Oh you’re wondering what song I’m talking about? Read on, please. 🙂

When I first listened to it, I found the song, like parts of the aforementioned songs, ego based, because initially I felt that it was written from a space where there was an attachment to a person/feeling (as the songs above were). However, after watching the video, and listening to the song on repeat for a few hours, just reflecting and connecting to it, I realized that (or interpreted that) this piece of art was rooted in honesty. I felt that it wasn’t a song about longing for a lost love but a realization that one missed out on the experience of love because he did not allow himself to be vulnerable. He realized too late that his fears and ego prevented him from experiencing LOVE, because he was scared, for whatever reason, and now he is in this melancholy, not regretful, but a very mindful state of awareness: TO EXPERIENCE LOVE, WE MUST BE VULNERABLE WITH ANOTHER, AND OVERCOME OUR FEARS.

In relationships with another, irrelevant of the intensity of the connection, we have to be emotionally naked in order to truly experience LOVE, with another. After all, in order to receive a hug, we must give a hug. The difficulty for some lies in showing love, but more often than that, it lies in difficulty in receiving love, of ‘allowing’ another to love us. The reasons for this can be complex and are often rooted in our childhood ‘misinterpretation’ of love. But it basically boils down to feeling unworthy of someone loving us. That’s a painful and damaging lie we carry with us, unknowingly sometimes. This song, as simple as the lyrics are, describes that realization, of the fact that he did not experience that closeness with her because he couldn’t go there with her, on an emotional level. His ego led him to think that she’d come running back to him, but she found happiness with someone who wasn’t scared to go THERE – to be open, and honest, and vulnerable on an emotional, spiritual and mental level. He held on to that ‘ego thought’ until he realized that the reason it didn’t work out between them, was because of his fears and ego holding him back from that soul baring nakedness, that is needed to experience such closeness with another human being. He is grieving the death of his fears, as he realizes that those fears are what was ‘killing’ him, his spirit, and his ability to experience LOVE, with another.

I have shared my breakdown of this song because I wanted to remind all of us that in order to experience LOVE with another, we MUST not just be vulnerable and courageous enough to love another, but also be vulnerable and courageous in allowing another to love us. I wrote this because I want to see people engaged in mindful, loving, and emotionally fulfilling relationships, myself included. Of course there is more to relationships than this – they take work. But imagine if we based them on, and built them in a sacred space of honesty, vulnerability, and soul baring nakedness? I bet there’d be more happy people walking around…

Love liberates. Love doesn’t bind. Love liberates.

And no, it will not eradicate powerful art. If anything, it may feed and fuel the creation of more art, that’s even more touching and powerful.

Oh and about the song that inspired this post? Click here to hear it.

Peace and love,

T


Could Have…Should Have…Didn’t…

I think I’ve replayed Adele’s “Someone Like You” a million times…watched the video a bunch of times too…she filmed it Paris, just in case you didn’t pay attention or know…the city of love… Well, love is created between two people and obviously it doesn’t just happen in the city of lights. But people often have regrets which are misplaced in the place(s) of their hearts and mind they haven’t explored or felt. So this poem is about that – misplaced regrets…of a girl or a guy.

I’ve held on to it for a while but feel good about sharing it with you now.

One love,

T

******

“I wish I could have loved you better”

is what he said to me

on that day we

bumped into one another

randomly

on the street.

And often,

I look back and wonder

what he really meant,

because, to me,

he did love me,

in his own way….

well…

except for the times he

seemed to have escaped

the circle of where we placed

our love and then…

and then he became

a different man…

I didn’t recognize him anymore

so I just assumed that

he escaped US forever.

I mean, he LEFT without

a real good-bye

or an explanation of why

he couldn’t just stay…

but I took that to mean

that he just wasn’t

the right one FOR ME

so when he said to me

“I wish I loved you differently”

I thought –

“Would that have made a difference really?

Or would we have just prolonged the inevitable?”

I actually don’t want to know.

What once was

but couldn’t remain

is something which now

I see as

a reason.

It was a reason for

MY change.

I’ve become the woman who

I’ve always wanted to be –

one who is honest and real,

a woman who stands in her own integrity –

And not because

that’s who you made me

but that’s who

I’ve worked hard to be.

So all the

could haves,

should haves,

or would haves

aren’t relevant anymore

‘cuz the woman who

you ran into on the street that day

may not have even allowed

you to talk to her

that long time ago

let alone have

let you into her world.

I guess that sounds

a little cold

but I’ve become better

and you still seem to be standing

in that same place

where you stood before.

I’m not gullible now

to your

“I wish I could have loved you more”

which of course,

I’ve heard before…

my most honest

and realest reply,

which I don’t have to give

would be:

“When your right one comes along,

don’t shy away from loving her more.

Much more…than you were ever

able to love me.”

*****

You can watch Adele’s video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0


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