Tag Archives: inner journey

“You’re a powerful being.” – Virus to Human

You may have read the title to this post and thought I made a mistake. We are presently experiencing a world where a virus is impacting human movement, where the world has taken a pause, a TRUE break, because of a microbe. But I did not make a mistake in the title of this post. I believe that if we can move past the fear, anxiety and panic, we might be able to take an objective perspective on what this experience is teaching us, collectively and individually.

Perhaps you’ll join me in a reflective practice on seeing things symbolically? If you are choosing to continue to read, I hope you keep your mind and heart open.

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Imagine late November of 2019, a human being in Wuhan, China develops cold or flu like symptoms but thinks not much of it, and continues on with their daily life activities and practices. Let’s say this human has lived in Wuhan their entire life and perhaps has moved within a 100 kilometre radius for their entire life, not much farther. List of places and things this human may have visited and done (and other humans they may have been in contact with) is endless; however, let’s just assume that due to the cold, they had to stay home in late November for a few days, but before the symptoms developed into what they did, this human was living their normal life – time was spent at work, and with friends and family, privately and publicly. This was patient zero of COVID-19. Now this human in Wuhan, who has not travelled far (according to my educated presumptions, as I’ve followed the spread of this microbe since it was first reported back in December 2019), has touched every single corner of the globe, people whom they may have known or not known, people they’ve never heard of and will never meet.

Let’s pause and breathe for a moment. Deep breaths, please.

In the midst of the presently palpable global panic (and anxiety created as a result), each of us has a choice in how we act, what perspectives/views we take on, and what we learn from this pandemic. We can look at obvious things such as the importance of maintaining good hand (and overall) hygiene, keeping common public areas and surfaces clean, staying away from others when not feeling well (especially those who are immunocompromised), as all are part of a social responsibility we’ve always had towards each other that has been highlighted by the current world pandemic. We could also look at what it means to have a well funded healthcare system, what the real risks of overpopulation are, and how our individual carbon footprint contributes to the health of our planet and each human being (irrelevant of our proximity to them). If you thought of those, you’d have valid points to present to policy makers, politicians, CEOs, as well as arguments against consumer economic model’s impact on overall health and wellness of all humans. But I want to challenge you to perhaps look at it with an even broader perspective. One that affects the state of your inner being.

Are you still practicing deep, mindful breathing?

I want to talk about patient zero of the COVID-19 outbreak in Wuhan, China. This human had no idea that the infection they were battling would reach humans all around the world, impact travel, stock markets, economies, healthcare systems, all businesses, trade. This human had no idea that they were even infectious or spreading anything to anyone, but just going about their daily life.

I’d like to challenge you now to imagine that patient zero of COVID-19, this human, has lived their life with great awareness, and commitment to self evolvement, growth and learning. Imagine that this human has healed their inner childhood traumas and faced themselves with honesty and compassion. Imagine that as a result of all of the self work that this human has embarked on that they are now open, loving, compassionate, self-aware, socially and environmentally conscious and responsible, empathetic, reflective, that they make choices with integrity and honesty (considering how their choices affect not just their life but others, animals and the environment), that they have good self-esteem and that they practice good self care.

Have you imagined it? Close your eyes and breathe until you get there.

Now I want you to imagine that instead of spreading a microbe to others in late November, patient zero spread empathy, compassion, honesty, love, self care practices, healing, social and environmental consciousness, or choices made with integrity. What if we were to spread those energies like a pandemic but instead of a viral pandemic which debilitates and hurts lives, it becomes a ‘pandemic’ that is energetically illuminating for all humans, all animals, as well as our planet?

Let’s contemplate a perspective and imagine that what this virus is actually teaching us is not about how powerful microbes are but how powerful we are, because every word we utter, every thought we have, every choice we make, every single thing we do or don’t do, impacts not just us individually, but every single human we come in contact with, and humans that they come in contact with, and so on and so forth, so that you, individually, create an energetic ripple that reaches people you may never meet. YOU are a powerful being!

Look at how much personal power patient zero of the COVID-19 pandemic has, to have reached every continent and impacted many different aspects of societies. Patient zero of COVID-19 is not much different from you or I. This human does not have fame like a well-known artist does, for example. Sure, we could give the virus some credit with respect to its efficient spread globally, but you could also give compassion and kindness the same kind of weight, if you practice it. YOU are a powerful being!

Each of us has a choice to hold ourself accountable to our personal power and live our lives with integrity. In doing so, we spread all of who we are, energetically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, to others, just like this microbe which has travelled from Wuhan, China to places that patient zero of COVID-19 may have never visited or even heard of. YOU are a powerful being!

There may be another viral pandemic in the future. There may be economic challenges. There may be wars. There may be travel bans. There may be shortages in supplies. No matter what happens, remember that you have the power in you to elevate and grow through anything, and to look at the event symbolically, so that you understand what this means for everyone, globally, and to always remind yourself that YOU are a powerful being!

Love & light,

T


Questions of Flow

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“As you get older, you are more set in your ways and harder to be in a relationship with” I’ve heard many people utter. Perhaps this is true for some. But I started to think about the WHYs. Why do we say that? When we say it, do we say it because someone stated this as a truth we accepted, or do we truly believe it, or is it an actual truth and if so, why is that our truth? And if we accept this as a truth when we’re in our 20s or 30s or 40s, do we take it on and manifest this rigidity unconsciously? Where does this rigidity come from? And perhaps more importantly, are we fully aware of it?

During this contemplation, I chose to reflect on my own experience of rigidity. In my journey thus far, I’ve observed great changes in my body – normal weight, overweight, underweight, overweight, normal weight – sort of in that order. I firmly believe that the changes in my body reflected the status of my inner world, and of course my family, friends and coworkers easily observed the physical changes. However, what no one could fully perceive was the lack of flexibility, or the energetic heaviness of the rigidity and stiffness in my mind and spirit, which was reflected in my body, but only fully experienced and felt by me. Of course, I also created it. I created it with my thoughts, choices, words, what I chose to do and not do. When I look back on those spaces in my life, I realize that I was not allowing the natural flow of my being to navigate the spaces I needed to manoeuvre, or make choices which served me, or even think thoughts which were of my own contemplation and discernment. Instead, I was either fighting my true self in order to conform to, or ignoring my intuition and rebelling against, something that was set out as ‘right’ by society or my family and culture. That constant push and pull, building walls, crossing lines, running away, keeping busy for distraction, created an emotional, spiritual, and mental paralysis in the extremes, was reflected in my body. Physical pain, stiffness, rigidity/lack of flexibility, tightness, being blocked, congested, and isolated from the enjoyment of life and others, were my personal experiences in my body as a reflection of my inner world. I found glimpses of joy and beauty and even calm during this experience but they were just that – glimpses. I did not know how to fully engage in anything other than the stagnant state of being I had experienced up to that point. It was not until perhaps a few years ago, when I finally began to open up and allow the natural flow of my being, my intuition and spirit to guide my healing, that I began to experience joy, beauty and calm more fully and consistently. But I do not consider my experience to be unique or isolated.

Since I was a child, I’ve been an observer of everything and everyone around me. This served me greatly when I began a daily meditative practice over a year ago, for meditation is a space of observation of our inner world, of the status of our soul, our mind, our heart, which we enter at that moment in time. Having worked in healthcare for almost a decade now, I’ve interacted with many human beings and I’ve observed some things which I am not intending to use as examples to generalize anyone’s life or existence, but rather as patterns I’ve observed some humans engage in.

I’ve observed that as we get older, some of us take on things we accepted to be true in the early years of our life and development, which restrict our flow. We don’t question things our child or teenage or 20-something-year-old self accepted to be true, though our experiences and observations thereafter suggest otherwise. For example, as a child, the experience of my parents suggested that relationships must have the experience of X, Y, and Z, and they must lead to A, B, and C, in order to be ‘real’ relationships. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that that experience of relationships may have been true for my parents but that is not necessarily a reflection of the flow of a relationship that may serve me. Often, in conversation, people will reveal that their ideal relationship is that of their parents or grandparents or a couple they saw in a movie or met when they were on vacation, and that they are working towards having a relationship like that, but they don’t actually take the time to figure out what best serves them as an individual. And I’ve observed, myself and others, to be addicted to relationships in search of the IDEAL we decided on when we were 12 or something, as the experience we want to have, rather than being present and discerning, in the experience that we are actually having. I’m not saying that in every case the relationship that we decided is our ideal does not serve us. I’m just saying that we didn’t take the time to figure out for ourselves why it does (or doesn’t). As a result, many of us find ourselves somehow ‘stuck’ in a relationship or friendship where we aren’t able to grow or learn or be ourselves fully and completely. And we project the rigidity we experience in that friendship or relationship, onto others or it gets extended in our habits, schedules, rituals…‘the way that things MUST be’, rather than allowing.

I’ve also come to understand that EVERYTHING is in constant flux and motion so much so that we change every day, yet we stick with things we decided we liked when we were kids. For example, we may have decided when we were five that our favourite colour is red and as adults have maintained this without exploring the experience of other colours – whether in the decor we chose for our homes, our clothing, our art etc. – and because we immersed ourselves in that one colour our entire life, the lack of exploration of the energetic quality of another colour is simply lost on us. Perhaps the calming quality of the colour blue would really serve us in the space we are presently exploring, but we don’t allow it to become a part of our experience because when we were five, we decided that red is our favourite colour and the only colour we want around. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with red, I’m just saying that there are so many other colours we have the privilege of experiencing, yet we decided when we were five that for the next 75/80/95 years, we are going to stick to red and only red without asking why. We also may have decided that we only like one type of music, and we only listen to that genre and never explore others, thereby limiting our music experience for our entire life. Though there is something beautiful to be found in stimulation of every one of our senses, I’m not saying that we are going to love all colours or all genres of music but that there is value in allowing ourselves to explore.

It has become apparent to me that our inner world is also constantly changing. Think about how differently you feel each morning you wake up. Some days you wake up feeling energised and ready to take on anything that may cross your path, and other days you just want to stay in bed and not talk to anyone. Yet most often, we ignore how we feel and push through our day without acknowledgment of where we are, of how we feel, or of what we need in order to find our centre and balance. What serves us most may be finding the stillness, movement or flow to navigate the newness without judgement or imposing boundaries we fought against or accepted when we were younger. For example, maybe when we were younger we decided that our discomfort gives us permission for everyone else to experience it and project our own emotional states on others (think of a toddler in the grocery story isle having a meltdown because their parent is not giving into their ice cream request), rather than being accountable for the understanding of why we feel/think/act the way we do at this moment in time. After all, it is our own personal experience so only we can answer our own why, and finding our centre in the spaces of meditation, yoga, reflection, contemplation, creative or other practices, may be ways that can help guide our inner exploration. When I was in high school, I remember going to school while having a temper tantrum which had nothing to do with anyone but me, but I had decided that it was acceptable for me to act out and take it out on others for months until someone told me that my behaviour was unacceptable. I was projecting the discomfort of my inner world outwards, however, not only did it not calm my inner, it also created chaos in my experience of friendships. It is not anyone else’s responsibility to sort through or experience the discomfort we may be feeling but our own. And at some point, we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable in order to grow, learn and elevate.

In my healthcare practice, I’ve dealt with adults of different age groups and I have observed that age does not play into how difficult it is for me to navigate the unfamiliar space the patient is about to experience. I’ve interacted with 20 year olds who are more set in their ways and stubborn in what they feel they should receive from me, than some of the 90 year olds I’ve interacted with. I truly believe that getting older does not mean we become more difficult to be around or set in our ways, but that it is a choice. And I think that choice is as much a reflection of what we have accepted to be true, what we have decided we should experience or how we should experience something, than it is of the reality of our actual experiences. It is true that we are born with things or born into situations we did not choose, but no matter what, as an adult, we have a choice in what we carry, how we perceive, react, act, think, speak.

I believe that the experience of our body and the state of our physical world, which we can perceive by the limitations of our five physical senses, is a reflection of our inner, spiritual and mental state. I believe that the interconnectedness of mind, body, spirit is a reflection of the interconnectedness of all things in the universe and across universes, for what’s in the one is in the whole and all things in our universe abide by the same laws (of physics, mathematics, energy, quantum mechanics, balance, reciprocity etc.) the universe itself abides by, and the same laws the atoms, which make up our cells and our bodies, abide by. Each entity/thing/being/energy is not separate from another. Specifically for human beings, there is a continuous flow of creation as a response to a thought, a choice, an emotion, an action or a lack thereof, which is being directed by each and every one of us. And those choices can further support or hinder our own flow.

What supports your flow?

What hinders your flow?

And why?

Be kind to yourself and others.

Love, T


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