I wrote this poem earlier this year as a reflection to a monologue I wrote and was asked to perform at a spoken word event called LoveJonesSundays. Sometimes it’s REALLY difficult to accept our past as just that – the past. Our humanity drives us to break it down, explain it, justify it, see it ‘clearly’… Well, for me, I believe in lessons, and continual growth especially from adverse situations. I think it’s necessary, however, just as all things in life, this too is a choice.
Sending you peace and love,
T.
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It might have been love
But it wasn’t my lifetime.
Isn’t it funny?
That which we fear to lose the most
Is often what we end up losing.
Now I realize that love is enough to remember.
Yes you were a heartache
But I learned so much from that about myself.
Like what not to say or do
If you don’t want to skew the truth.
What honesty truly means
And no it’s not simply not saying anything –
That’s just an inability/will to communicate.
Yea maybe I created a situation/vibe
Where it was hard for you to open up
But I didn’t realize my strength
Would be a deterrent for your love.
Did you even think about that?
About us?
All that I gave you?
Words that left your mouth?
I am not sure I’d call that love…
I learned so much from you…about me.
I hope you saw me for more than
My reactions to your fears and insecurities.
Crazy, isn’t it?
How we often become the person
We’re trying to run away from.
In the end you realize
It wasn’t love that hurt so bad,
Just fears and insecurities we both allowed
To creep up in THAT us.
I think back and all I really remember now
Is what love doesn’t look like.
Do you ever think about that?
About us?
All that you gave me?
Words that left my mouth?
I am not sure I’d call that love…
But I’ll always remember you as
The prologue to my lifetime
‘Cuz you showed me
Who I didn’t want to be
And what love doesn’t look like.
Think about us?….
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