Monthly Archives: September 2013

A ‘commentary’ on “Think about us…?”

I suppose this is a commentary or a follow-up of my last post – poem, “Think about us….?” – I hope this gives you, the reader, some context and a deeper understanding of my beliefs and where that and my other writings come from.

First excerpt from a monologue I wrote and performed earlier this year:

 

“For years I thought that I was meant to be a bird. For a bird has wings and is free to fly wherever it wants to go. And see the world from angles and heights, which no one else has tried to reach. The endless sky being its home. The horizon, a never reached destination. But the bird is free to fly wherever it wants to go.”

My biggest lessons from unhealthy (platonic and non-platonic) relationships I engaged in in my past:

  • You MUST stand in your own integrity as a person. You know right from wrong so do right, but also remember that you are an example to those in your life of how to treat you right.
  • NEVER allow ANYONE to make you think you’re not worthy of their time, of their energy, of their affection, of their commitment or of their love. YOU are worthy of love and deserve to be loved. (FYI: You ARE loved!)
  • Love does NOT hurt. People use love to justify behaviors and words that are not mindful, that are hurtful. But that is not love. Love does not hurt.
  • To be able to experience love, you have to ensure three things:
  1. You have to check and break down your ego.
  2. You have to reach and discover and be intimate with YOUR bedrock of truth.
  3. You have to love YOU first.

Last excerpt of the monologue:

 

“[It took me while to get here, but] I am a bird now. Flying high in the sky. In the direction where I want to go. With people who lift me and nurture my growth. And yes I’m still alone but I never once looked back. All that I remember now is what love doesn’t look like.”

 

I wish you peace, joy and love.

T

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Think about us….?

I wrote this poem earlier this year as a reflection to a monologue I wrote and was asked to perform at a spoken word event called LoveJonesSundays. Sometimes it’s REALLY difficult to accept our past as just that – the past. Our humanity drives us to break it down, explain it, justify it, see it ‘clearly’… Well, for me, I believe in lessons, and continual growth especially from adverse situations. I think it’s necessary, however, just as all things in life, this too is a choice.

Sending you peace and love,

T.

*********

 

It might have been love

But it wasn’t my lifetime.

Isn’t it funny?

That which we fear to lose the most

Is often what we end up losing.

Now I realize that love is enough to remember.

Yes you were a heartache

But I learned so much from that about myself.

Like what not to say or do

If you don’t want to skew the truth.

What honesty truly means

And no it’s not simply not saying anything –

That’s just an inability/will to communicate.

Yea maybe I created a situation/vibe

Where it was hard for you to open up

But I didn’t realize my strength

Would be a deterrent for your love.

 

Did you even think about that?

About us?

All that I gave you?

Words that left your mouth?

I am not sure I’d call that love…

 

I learned so much from you…about me.

I hope you saw me for more than

My reactions to your fears and insecurities.

Crazy, isn’t it?

How we often become the person

We’re trying to run away from.

In the end you realize

It wasn’t love that hurt so bad,

Just fears and insecurities we both allowed

To creep up in THAT us.

I think back and all I really remember now

Is what love doesn’t look like.

 

Do you ever think about that?

About us?

All that you gave me?

Words that left my mouth?

I am not sure I’d call that love…

 

But I’ll always remember you as

The prologue to my lifetime

‘Cuz you showed me

Who I didn’t want to be

And what love doesn’t look like.

 

Think about us?….


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