Monthly Archives: July 2012

I Reminisce…

 

I dedicate this poem to the lovers who are together in spirit but apart in reality. I know that you’ll relate as you reminisce too… One love, T.

***

 

On this warm summer night,

I think of you

and I think of us.

I close my eyes

and I see your face.

I pull the covers tighter around my naked body

and I remember the feeling of your embrace.

I recall the warmth of your hugs

and the stories of your kisses.

I smile all over again…

Did you know you made me smile?

When we were in the same space,

or apart…I used to think of you and smile.

And I smile yet again

as I reminisce of us

and of how it used to be…

I think a connection that strong

won’t ever go away

and maybe one day

you’ll come back to me

one warm summer night

lay down beside me

and just hold me tight.

And I smile right now…

I keep smiling as I reminisce

of you and I….


How To Be An Adult In Relationships…

I have chosen to write a conversation piece over a poem this week for personal reasons. I feel that this post is necessary.

I’d like to discuss the impact a book has made on my life and why I (and my friend B) think that everyone should read it. It’s called “How To Be An Adult In Relationships” by David Richo.

My friend B and I have made this book our relationship bible because it guided us both in our individual growth periods. It’s a book which is to be read at your own pace as it is deep and because it addresses many different issues relevant to having a healthy relationship with oneself first and foremost, which then leads to a healthy relationship with other people. It takes you on a reflective journey of your past experiences and allows you room to decide what it is that you want for yourself as an individual and in relationships while teaching you tools in how to go about doing that. The book has been a saving grace for many of our friends who’ve also read it. I’ve given this book as a gift to a few people including my mother and sister. It does not matter how old you are, what you’ve gone through or where you find yourself currently in life. If you’re struggling with personal issues, unresolved pain or painful situations, OR if you are in a happy relationship this book is relevant.

I want to let you know that if you feel like you don’t have a good grasp of your life or your emotions, if you feel that you’re at a crossroads of sorts, if you feel that your life is a bit of a mess or that you fail at having successful relationships, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We’ve ALL gone through “stuff”, experienced pain, been disappointed, have been unsuccessful at something. But the thing is, you CAN overcome all of that IF YOU TRY and do the work.

Since reading the book “How To Be An Adult In Relationships” by David Richo, I’ve become more aware of my reactions, my actions and the words I use when communicating with other people. It is difficult, however, after doing all that work and going through the growth process which the book guides you through, to not pass on the knowledge and tools learned from it in helping other people, which is why I’m writing about it. I would like to note, however, that this isn’t directly from the book but these are some of the things which I’ve become aware of while reading it.

Some of the things which I learned about myself while reading this book have helped me return to a place of peace within. Don’t get me wrong – my life is not all roses and like everyone else, I also go through problems and difficult situations. It’s just that I’ve been able to stand in the midst of it all and be at peace. I suppose there were other things I did while reading this book which helped me but because that is an individual and personal choice, I choose not to disclose those as not to skew anyone’s perception. What I will say is that ANY type of creative expressions, activities which help you focus or remain calm, should be engaged while doing this work on Self.

I feel that this book has given me tools and guided me in dealing with and understanding my emotions and feelings better. That is a big deal. So many people out there are riding emotional roller coasters which creates unnecessary drama not just for them but for people whom they deal with. I’ve read many books and have done plenty of work on myself prior to reading Richo’s book, but after making the commitment to really work through it, I was able to elevate my own sense of self in the way I conduct myself, in how I see myself and in who I am in relationship type situations. (Note: this book is highlighting non-platonic relationships but it’s applicable to ANY kind of relationship – family, friend, romance, business, professional etc – because it will strengthen the relationship you have with your Self and make you more aware of your actions, words and reactions towards others.)

Another thing that the book helped me with tremendously was making peace with, and understanding my past. By doing the work laid out by Richo, I was able to grasp how certain things which occurred during my childhood, teenage years and early adult life (that includes situations which happened in different types of relationships) affected me emotionally, how it affected my current relationships and more importantly, it helped me sort through things that I was holding on to which had a hold on ME – i.e. my actions, reactions and words towards other people. Take a moment and honestly ask yourself how many of us actually do that? Most people run away from their past (which turns into a lot of baggage later on in life) instead of actually sorting through it and dealing with it before moving on to another situation. THIS IS IMPORTANT WORK, in my opinion and I encourage everyone to do it.

You may find another way to do your work which will work for you, but if you’re unsure of where to start or how to go about it, I strongly recommend that you go and pick up “How To Be An Adult In Relationships” and start working towards creating the life you want to live, by being who you are or want to become, and having the kinds of relationships that you want to have.

Love, T

PLEASE NOTE: I am not an advertiser nor do I have any affiliations with the publishing company or the author. This is simply me practicing my “sharing is caring” mantra.


Child of war…

I don’t remember the exact date, but I must have been going through some kind of a low, when I wrote this poem. None-the-less, it’s real.

In light of what’s been happening around our city, I felt that it was fitting to share it now…children need love and guidance.

 Keep your head up. We ALL go through stuff. Just remember that the stuff we go through as children, stays with us forever. Even AFTER we work through it…

Our stories may be different, but we could be feeling the same…and we must take care of our children.

One love,

T

*****

Do you remember being a kid?

Playing outside with your friends?

Loving life and hoping those happy feelings never end?

I wish I had had more of that

It was too short

I needed more time

No one will know

What happens to a child’s growth as a result of war

Except the people who they try to become afterwards

The feeling of being crippled

Emotionally and mentally

It creeps up as your worst dreams unfold

You don’t know how to trust

You don’t know how to love

You don’t know how to feel

Why can’t it just go away?

Why can’t I go outside to play?

Why does it make me feel this way?

I deal with it for it’s always there

A silent battle

That I lose every day

How do I get out?

I want to be able to feel and love

I want to live life and trust

Will it take one person?

Will it take more than that?

Do I ask for help or keep working alone trying to work it all out?

We live in daydreams

In our big houses

Within these large cities

But I feel lost and cold

I got a roof over my head

I’m not all alone

Do you understand?

Do you want to know?

Is anyone listening to me in this busy crazy world?


Could Have…Should Have…Didn’t…

I think I’ve replayed Adele’s “Someone Like You” a million times…watched the video a bunch of times too…she filmed it Paris, just in case you didn’t pay attention or know…the city of love… Well, love is created between two people and obviously it doesn’t just happen in the city of lights. But people often have regrets which are misplaced in the place(s) of their hearts and mind they haven’t explored or felt. So this poem is about that – misplaced regrets…of a girl or a guy.

I’ve held on to it for a while but feel good about sharing it with you now.

One love,

T

******

“I wish I could have loved you better”

is what he said to me

on that day we

bumped into one another

randomly

on the street.

And often,

I look back and wonder

what he really meant,

because, to me,

he did love me,

in his own way….

well…

except for the times he

seemed to have escaped

the circle of where we placed

our love and then…

and then he became

a different man…

I didn’t recognize him anymore

so I just assumed that

he escaped US forever.

I mean, he LEFT without

a real good-bye

or an explanation of why

he couldn’t just stay…

but I took that to mean

that he just wasn’t

the right one FOR ME

so when he said to me

“I wish I loved you differently”

I thought –

“Would that have made a difference really?

Or would we have just prolonged the inevitable?”

I actually don’t want to know.

What once was

but couldn’t remain

is something which now

I see as

a reason.

It was a reason for

MY change.

I’ve become the woman who

I’ve always wanted to be –

one who is honest and real,

a woman who stands in her own integrity –

And not because

that’s who you made me

but that’s who

I’ve worked hard to be.

So all the

could haves,

should haves,

or would haves

aren’t relevant anymore

‘cuz the woman who

you ran into on the street that day

may not have even allowed

you to talk to her

that long time ago

let alone have

let you into her world.

I guess that sounds

a little cold

but I’ve become better

and you still seem to be standing

in that same place

where you stood before.

I’m not gullible now

to your

“I wish I could have loved you more”

which of course,

I’ve heard before…

my most honest

and realest reply,

which I don’t have to give

would be:

“When your right one comes along,

don’t shy away from loving her more.

Much more…than you were ever

able to love me.”

*****

You can watch Adele’s video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0


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