“In the power to change yourself is the power to change the world around you.”~ Anwar Sadat
Just like most things I write about, I have either experienced it myself or seen someone close to me experience it and go through it. That being said, I’m not trying to go on a rant about what people should or shouldn’t do but I did want to discuss one big thing which I think is lacking big time within my generation but also amongst our society in general. And that thing, amongst other things in my opinion, is integrity.
Somehow, I’ve seen a decrease in the ability of people to not just be real with others but also with themselves. Now when I say “BE REAL” what I am talking about is being honest, following through with your word (or words), being trustworthy and not lowering your standards of living or of who you are for anything or anyone.
It seems that people are selling themselves out for very small things – a lot of time it’s money, other times it’s fame, other times it’s a fear of something – but really what it does is it lowers their integrity amongst other people, and it changes people’s opinions, of them. Now I’m not one who lives by what people think or say HOWEVER, if I want to have quality relationships or friendships or partnerships with other people and most importantly, if I want to be happy with myself and the life I live, then that means that I do act out and stand in my own integrity.
Just this past week I found myself in a situation where I couldn’t make it to an event which I wanted to go to, although the person who was organizing was gracious enough to give me two free tickets to it. Although I had every intention of going, it was just impossible for me to make it and although it was a last-minute change of plans, I contacted them as soon as I realized this, to apologize and let them know of the situation. They weren’t very happy with me (and I wouldn’t have been very happy if I was in their shoes either) but I didn’t just shy away from the situation I found myself in. I recognized my own downfall and COMMUNICATED it. I think often people fail to do just that – communicate. Now whether or not this person is able to forgive me and understand, that’s on THEM to do so and it is THEIR choice. I didn’t assume that they would or wouldn’t see it my way but I did let them know the situation and let them decide how they will feel or handle it. It doesn’t mean that I don’t still feel bad about it or that I’m less remorseful but what it means is that I was an adult about it. And no, I am not asking for approval or disapproval from anyone NOR am I putting this out to reach that person and to make them see that – that’s called drama and T just doesn’t roll like that! – but I am using it as an example to say that we’re all just human beings. We’re not perfect nor could we expect of ourselves to be. BUT even though at times we fail to do things which we’ve decided to commit to doing, we can STILL be a person of integrity.
A friend of mine and I had a long talk about that today too, with respect to relationships between men and women and how it’s REALLY hard to find someone who is actually worth spending time with mainly because a lot of people are just out there playing games and are not a person of integrity. (FYI I was speaking to a male friend and no we weren’t man-bashing!) This also goes both ways – for men and women. Women, if a man shows you interest and you have none towards him, just tell him that. He already knows that you have more interest being thrown your way than he does and he will appreciate your honesty. Men, if you want to step to a girl, do that only if you can be honest about what you can and cannot offer her. ALLOW her to make her own decision about it and don’t make the decision for her. Finally, and this goes for both sexes, KEEP IT REAL! Be a man or a woman of integrity!
Elevate not just yourself but the world you’ve created for yourself. After all, how can you expect your world and the people around to you to change, if you don’t do it yourself? Words are empty if no actions follow them, and people may not always remember what you say but they will remember how you act (or don’t) because it will make them feel something….food for thought?
Integrity….how bout we ALL start standing in it?
“You can’t control someone else’s actions, reactions or feelings. But you can be a person of integrity and KEEP IT REAL. Remember – the truth is freeing!”~T ©