I am writing you this letter in order to express my confusion and disbelief about the life you have chosen to lead all these years. This isn’t a criticism and I hope that you don’t take it as that. I also hope that you don’t mind the fact that I am posting it publicly on my blog…but to be real, you’re nowhere to be found!
First of all, you should know that you’re an amazing individual and I absolutely love you. But I never really get to show you so and that frustrates me. It’s almost as if you only stay around long enough to give me a glimpse of you but not long enough to really know you, know you. You have a great personality and characteristics I look for in friends and loves, but the reality is that you remain a mystery to me….and to others as well. You don’t allow anyone to get very close and if you start to let someone in, you easily withdraw at the slightest evidence of a relationship blooming. It’s like everyone else’s walls are 3 feet high but yours are touching the sky. How do you move around so fast and get to so many places when you have such tall, heavy fences?
Maybe to you all this is just a show and you gain joy from interacting with others at a safe distance – where you’re close enough to see them in their space and element but far enough so that they can’t really pinpoint yours. I always wonder if that’s the reason you go away so much and usually don’t stay in touch on a regular basis. Do you fear people seeing you and all of your faces? We all have them, just so you know.
I’m not saying that you have to be best friends with every person you meet but when you have a great connection with someone, allow yourself to explore it. Just like you, that person is scared too. They don’t really know you and they know that you can hurt them too. But the thing is, great connections don’t come by too often and when you recognize them as such, please remember that they deserve your all – you can’t keep coming and going because that will hurt the other person who you’ve assumed to be demanding and in your face because they care to know (and rightfully ask!) how you’re doing and what it is that you’re up to. They’re not asking for a detailed report of your day, they just want to be a part of your life as much as they’ve allowed you to be a part of theirs. There is nothing wrong with this, actually.
Tomorrow is not promised nor guaranteed. There is a high probability that that person is not asking for the moon and the stars nor magic carpet rides that the fairy tales sold to kids in movies which are animated. They just want to get to know you and enjoy some quality time with you. Yes, you could be their happy place. It is not promised to be that way always, but if it is so right now, allow it to be. Explore the feelings that come – you never know where they’ll take you.
They say life isn’t really living if you keep running so I say – stay a while and play a hand! You’ll never lose – what’s meant to be will be and everything else gets tossed in a bin called “life experiences” which holds a whole lot of “lessons” and leave you with a forever-giving, priceless gift called “wisdom”.
I’d appreciate a reply to this letter, my dearest Waldo. Perhaps not to me personally, but to those who love you and who are trying to figure out why and how you’ve become so disconnected. Well at least, think about it.
With love and a whole lot of faith in you,