This post was inspired by the lyrics of Adele’s song Set Fire To The Rain.
T
***
I feel like I talk to you
a million times a day
but I wonder if you hear
all that I say?
All of what I want you to know?
Do my feelings show?
In the midst of our letting go
I hadn’t really let it go.
But now I see the reality of you and me
and I realize why we cannot be.
It’s not that you’re incapable of loving,
or of loving me,
actually it’s your
emotional unavailability.
You’ve placed a wall around your heart
and your entire being
making it hard for you to go anywhere
that requires mindful thoughts and feelings.
I cannot imagine what or who
caused you so much pain,
but because I love you,
I want to make it go away….
and then I realize
that I can’t.
I sit here in my space
thinking of you
and your embrace.
Your face is so lovely,
I don’t think I’ve ever told you so
but it comes to my mind quite a bit….
and it sure makes me smile….
When you’d hold me in your arms
my world was a happy place..
no troubles
or a sad face…
all this because of your embrace.
I’m not sure you knew
the effect you had on me.
You couldn’t see that I loved you
from the very beginning.
Like Adele said,
my heart fell..
you just didn’t realize
that you were actually holding it
right in the palm of your hand…
now, do you understand?
I look at you
for all of who you are
and I can’t seem to make out
if you’re living or just breathing
right now.
I want to hold you
and tell you how amazing
you are…how much you’ve changed my life
but I can’t because you’re not in a place
to even understand the face of
my heart space.
And it makes me sad
to know that you’re in so much pain
and I cannot do anything to make it go away.
I love you so much
but that’s not enough
nor is it the answer to a heart
with walls around its gates,
which are closed and locked..
your heart tucked away
in a garden of pain
overgrown and unkept
perhaps due to fears
of what you might find..
but I think you’ve decided that it’s easier
just to leave it there
tucked away.
Of course you can’t let me in your space
you’ve not been there in years
so how can you truly even know
the truths it holds within?
Maybe it is calling for me,
but you don’t know and you never will –
you don’t allow yourself to feel.
So I sit here,
in my space,
which I let you come into,
except now you’ve gone and you’re so far away
and instead of feeling your embrace
I feel your pain
as my tears fall
down my face…
wishing I can take you in my arms
and hold you
in my embrace.
I wonder if, when your walls come down
and you start feeling again,
you’d let me love you
and if then you’d understand
what I meant when I said
that it hurts me
when you go away…
maybe then you’ll understand
that you give me everything
without ‘giving’ me anything…
I hope you reach THAT
heart space…
some day.
***
Watch YouTube link with lyrics here:
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