Lessons…

This poem isn’t about anyone specific nor is it meant to be hateful. It’s just a combination of mine and my friends’ truths. Unfortunately too many can relate and not enough are strong enough to get out and leave. There is a certain ‘vibe’ or feeling that encompasses situations described in the poem which we often ignore. More need to listen to their own intuition. 

Mistakes and experiences are only lessons if you learn from them…that means letting go, forgiving, understanding and recognizing it if it shows up again.

T

***

I feel trapped

There is something heavy on my chest

It’s hard to breathe

I can’t sleep

My heart has a weird beat.

The feeling isn’t new

It’s just more intense.

I thought I had it under control

It was all brought on by stress.

What a mess!

Why is it I let you do this?

The made up stories

And all your lies

I am a strong woman

It’s not even worth my time!

I hear you come through the door

 Trying not to make too much noise.

I pretend that I’m asleep

So you think you got one up on me

But I pray you can’t hear my loud heartbeat.

Cuz tomorrow I leave

And I will be free

No more heavy on my chest

No more stress

No more feeling like a bloody mess

You don’t need to know

Where I’m going to be

The only thing you’ll know

Is that I’m no longer here

And that we will never again be

Ever tear I cried,

Every lie you told,

Every late night,

Every fight you picked,

Every word to make me feel small,

I look back now and wonder

Why did I deal with it at all?

Terrible experiences in bed.

Awful energy everywhere you went.

Hell, you couldn’t even pay for s*it!

Oh I remember now!

It was that first lie you told

You said you were a man of your word

But did you think I wasn’t going to figure it out?

The girl called me and blew your s*it up!

I’m so sick of ‘men’ who lie

Insecure cowards

Trying to pretend they’re worth my time

I see right through that now

In a short period of time

And when I bounce

They call back saying “I miss you”

Of course you do boo,

You tried to floss with a real woman

Not a girl without a clue.

They say a person fools you once

That’s their bad

They fool you twice, it’s yours.

So I took it to the bank, cashed it in

And ended up with some words

TRUTH

HONESTY

INTEGRITY –

MY STANDARDS

NO MORE BAD BOYS!

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About arainbowintheclouds

Hello! Thank you for visiting my page! *** About me? I am a woman who constantly seeks knowledge and experiences which feed my soul, make me think, feel, reflect and learn. I seek, respect, love and live the TRUTH. Whatever it is, however it's packaged, whomever it comes from, wherever I find it. I love intellectual conversations and I LOVE LIVING! * Background: I obtained two degrees back-to-back while working as a pharmacy technician. I competed as a fitness model during the last two years of my second degree and was involved in the fitness industry for some time. I had written poetry and stories when I was younger but had put it all on hold during my studies. After spending a few years getting back to T, I decided to share my writing with the world. *** Sending positive energy your way! *** T *** PS Feel free to leave a comment or send me a message! **** ALL posts © Copyright of Tamara Nikic as dated. View all posts by arainbowintheclouds

6 responses to “Lessons…

  • maldi

    no more bad boys, seems like you used to like them but at a certain point you just realized you’re not that strong, may be you’re too predictable, for them… i feel so jealous for him, i wish i was born like him, so i could have a highstandard woman like you, and another one, at the same time,,,,,,,, and i want to realize what’s wrong with me, and i try to be better and tougher, but it’s not easy, i have to be born like that, or i have to have some real good ”teacher”, or i just need to make my experiences and as a result one day i might wake up and be, and feel totally like him, or it’s just never gonna happen, some are born beautiful and buy stuff with that, some make much money and buy other stuff, some are just really sly and they get stuff,,,,, I JUST HATE MYSELF,,,,,,,,,,,, i wish one day i will be able to get any kind of BIITCH or WOMAN that i want, and not have to pay or exchange anything for that, neither a bit of my patience,,,,,,,,,
    the geologist in florence, i hope you’ll answer me, thank you so much for giving me the chance to know you

    • arainbowintheclouds

      It’s not about how many women or things you can have or obtain during your life that makes you rich, but how many people’s lives you reach out and touch in a positive way. Remember – beauty is within. Only insecure dogs look to have a ‘bitch’ or many of them. A real man gives his all to one woman who gives her all to him. Don’t rush that which you are not yet ready for. Enjoy your journey and thanks for the tour! I wish you well! 🙂

  • maldi

    by the way, you look ”live” so much better than in this foto

  • maldi

    guess what, this happened to be a real great day,,,,,, yesterday night i thought i should try to give the exam, so i went there, and i passed it, and i have never been as lucky as i was today, i was the less prepared but got a mark i didnt expect at all, im assuming that may be you ”were a GOOD SIGN”, after this exam, my master is gonna be so much easier,,,,,,, so considering the maths thing, may be you were that positive ”value” that just changed positively the grafic where i am in,,,,,,, so perhaps i should thank you

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