This poem isn’t about anyone specific nor is it meant to be hateful. It’s just a combination of mine and my friends’ truths. Unfortunately too many can relate and not enough are strong enough to get out and leave. There is a certain ‘vibe’ or feeling that encompasses situations described in the poem which we often ignore. More need to listen to their own intuition.
Mistakes and experiences are only lessons if you learn from them…that means letting go, forgiving, understanding and recognizing it if it shows up again.
T
***
I feel trapped
There is something heavy on my chest
It’s hard to breathe
I can’t sleep
My heart has a weird beat.
The feeling isn’t new
It’s just more intense.
I thought I had it under control
It was all brought on by stress.
What a mess!
Why is it I let you do this?
The made up stories
And all your lies
I am a strong woman
It’s not even worth my time!
I hear you come through the door
Trying not to make too much noise.
I pretend that I’m asleep
So you think you got one up on me
But I pray you can’t hear my loud heartbeat.
Cuz tomorrow I leave
And I will be free
No more heavy on my chest
No more stress
No more feeling like a bloody mess
You don’t need to know
Where I’m going to be
The only thing you’ll know
Is that I’m no longer here
And that we will never again be
Ever tear I cried,
Every lie you told,
Every late night,
Every fight you picked,
Every word to make me feel small,
I look back now and wonder
Why did I deal with it at all?
Terrible experiences in bed.
Awful energy everywhere you went.
Hell, you couldn’t even pay for s*it!
Oh I remember now!
It was that first lie you told
You said you were a man of your word
But did you think I wasn’t going to figure it out?
The girl called me and blew your s*it up!
I’m so sick of ‘men’ who lie
Insecure cowards
Trying to pretend they’re worth my time
I see right through that now
In a short period of time
And when I bounce
They call back saying “I miss you”
Of course you do boo,
You tried to floss with a real woman
Not a girl without a clue.
They say a person fools you once
That’s their bad
They fool you twice, it’s yours.
So I took it to the bank, cashed it in
And ended up with some words
TRUTH
HONESTY
INTEGRITY –
MY STANDARDS
NO MORE BAD BOYS!
September 27th, 2011 at 3:06 pm
no more bad boys, seems like you used to like them but at a certain point you just realized you’re not that strong, may be you’re too predictable, for them… i feel so jealous for him, i wish i was born like him, so i could have a highstandard woman like you, and another one, at the same time,,,,,,,, and i want to realize what’s wrong with me, and i try to be better and tougher, but it’s not easy, i have to be born like that, or i have to have some real good ”teacher”, or i just need to make my experiences and as a result one day i might wake up and be, and feel totally like him, or it’s just never gonna happen, some are born beautiful and buy stuff with that, some make much money and buy other stuff, some are just really sly and they get stuff,,,,, I JUST HATE MYSELF,,,,,,,,,,,, i wish one day i will be able to get any kind of BIITCH or WOMAN that i want, and not have to pay or exchange anything for that, neither a bit of my patience,,,,,,,,,
the geologist in florence, i hope you’ll answer me, thank you so much for giving me the chance to know you
September 27th, 2011 at 5:23 pm
It’s not about how many women or things you can have or obtain during your life that makes you rich, but how many people’s lives you reach out and touch in a positive way. Remember – beauty is within. Only insecure dogs look to have a ‘bitch’ or many of them. A real man gives his all to one woman who gives her all to him. Don’t rush that which you are not yet ready for. Enjoy your journey and thanks for the tour! I wish you well! 🙂
September 27th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
by the way, you look ”live” so much better than in this foto
September 27th, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Thank you. It was a pleasure meeting you.
September 28th, 2011 at 2:46 pm
guess what, this happened to be a real great day,,,,,, yesterday night i thought i should try to give the exam, so i went there, and i passed it, and i have never been as lucky as i was today, i was the less prepared but got a mark i didnt expect at all, im assuming that may be you ”were a GOOD SIGN”, after this exam, my master is gonna be so much easier,,,,,,, so considering the maths thing, may be you were that positive ”value” that just changed positively the grafic where i am in,,,,,,, so perhaps i should thank you
September 28th, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Congratulations! It was a choice in your mindset that made the difference! I know you’ll do great on your finals! 🙂