I Can Move My Own Stove…To Clean Behind It

A friend of mine asked me “T, what ARE you looking for in a guy?”. I thought about it – about the things I want and don’t want and I realized that it’s a lot of the same things that my girlfriends are also looking for. So this poem is dedicated to us, ‘Renascence’ women (as I was described by a fine gentleman last night), who CAN do it on our own, who ARE doing it on our own, and are shaking up the traditional ‘role assignments’ of men and women but really, we are seeking a MAN.

T

***

To the next man who approaches me,

There are a few things I hope you see.

No, this list is not all-inclusive,

But please don’t lose it.

*

I can move my own stove,

in order to clean behind it.

So I don’t need muscles or a pretty boy

To move furniture or carry groceries.

I have a job and my own place,

So I don’t need your money and I won’t invade your space.

But know that I am not a bank or a hotel,

Please call your boy if things aren’t swell.

I have degrees and I love to read,

I have a brain and I am not afraid to speak.

I don’t need a man with a PhD,

but he needs to stimulate my intellect more than the p…..

I can cook well and keep the house clean,

I do not mind doing laundry,

Or cooking things you like which I don’t even eat,

But never forget that I am NOT your personal maid or chef!

I’ll cut everything off quickly if my standards are not met.

*

Oh, you want to know what my standards are now?

They’re pretty basic and simple, I think –

Be honest, stay real and respect me –

That is my standard for us to just exchange words.

If we’re both lucky enough to want to try more,

My standard for that is really simple actually –

Our vibe will determine it all!

*

The last point I need to make,

Is actually quite delicate –

I AM A WOMAN.

My body, my mind, my soul, my spirit are all feminine.

My name is not ‘mama’, ‘baby’, ‘sexy’,

unless you ACTUALLY know me.

And even then, remember – I have a name,

and I’d appreciate it if you used it to address me.